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The high school of homeschooling: "Have the courage to leave things out!"

4.12.2020

Translation: machine translated

Lately, you've been hearing it more often again, the bad word with an H that immediately makes parents sweat with fear: Homeschooling. An interview that parents should definitely not skip.

One child has fallen ill with coronavirus, another remains in quarantine, some school classes are being sent home completely as a precaution, while elsewhere pupils and teachers are busy rehearsing online lessons. In short, children are once again learning at home more often, and may soon be able to do so continuously again. Their parents are required to act as substitute teachers - and are often overwhelmed.

But even before the first big nervous breakdown, we get support: Sabine Omarow has been working for years as a learning coach with her own practice in Paderborn, East Westphalia. The 56-year-old helps children (and adults) with learning difficulties - and knows a few clever tricks for school lessons at home.

All beginnings are hard: How can I motivate my child to get to grips with their tasks?

Sabnie Omarow: Let's put it this way: if your child generally doesn't feel like doing their homework because they have already lost the joy of learning, then it will be all the more difficult to motivate your child when homeschooling. If the child has problems at school, they will probably also have problems at home. So make sure you take all the pressure off! You won't motivate anyone with pressure and fear. If a child has to work through their tasks under duress, they will certainly not do well - and neither will you as a parent. Give yourself and your child time, take it easy. Together you can manage what you can manage.

What else is there to look out for?

Talk to your child a lot. Firstly, about their emotions: How does it feel to have to study at home, alone, without their classmates? On the other hand, also talk specifically about the teaching material: What is your child confident about? Where would they like support? And ask yourself honestly: Can I still do this? Can I really help my child with these or those tasks?

If you are unsure yourself, it is better to put the tasks to one side. Have the courage to make this decision! If you leave out learning material, please make sure you communicate this to the respective teachers. Don't let them assume that your child has worked through, understood and internalised everything. Feedback for teachers is very important!

Sabine Omarow works as a learning coach in Paderborn. (Photo: Fotografie lebendig)

Can there also be rewards?

No, I am generally against rewards, no matter what kind, whether sweets or money or whatever. They only condition a child to the reward. Children suddenly only work because they expect a reward. They don't practise working independently and they don't develop any pleasure in working. It can even happen that children refuse to work at some point, namely when they don't get a reward. It's better to treat yourself to some time out with your child in the evening if you've been working hard together during the day. Relax together, laugh together - regardless of your child's homeschooling achievements. Your offspring will then realise that they are loved by mum and dad, that they are understood and appreciated, regardless of whether they have achieved a lot or less.

How do I best structure a school day at home?

Of course, you can simply follow the timetable at home. However, I would advise against this. We are in our own four walls. We don't have to have the same structures as at school. We can take breaks whenever it seems appropriate. We can also take a longer lunch break. Anything that helps the child is allowed! During breaks, it is important to leave the room where you are learning, moving around, playing, if the weather and circumstances allow, maybe even going outside for a bit. Snacks are always a good idea, of course, as long as they are fruit and vegetables. And don't forget to drink plenty!

And where is the best place to learn? What should the environment ideally look like?

Well, preferably not in the kitchen while mum or dad are cooking on the side. It needs a room where children can concentrate, a quiet atmosphere, as quiet as possible, no distractions. No mobile phones ringing all the time, no radio playing on the side and certainly no television on. It's best for the child to sit in the nursery or living room - if it's quiet there.

If you have several children to look after: should they all sit together or is it better to teach each one in their own room?

It depends on the children, of course. Logically! Do they get on well together? For example, I look after an older, teenage pupil who looks after his little brother very well and supports him a lot, almost better than the parents. Basically, there's nothing wrong with siblings benefiting from each other when homeschooling, as long as each of them has enough time for their own tasks. Of course, if the children only keep each other from their work, then you should put each of them in their own room. They can still play with each other during the breaks.

As a parent, how much should I actually take on the role of the teacher? How much do I get involved, explain, read aloud, do the maths?

One thing is clear: parents are not teachers. They have no didactic experience, they have no pedagogical expertise. They have long forgotten many of the things they learnt at school, which is completely normal. Parents can therefore only take on the role of a teacher to a very limited extent. You should definitely let your child complete the homework that they feel comfortable with independently. For all other tasks, see where you reach your limits. Explain what you can, read and do the maths as much as you can. As soon as you run the risk of freaking out: Stop immediately! Take a break! Take time to calm down again. When parents are under pressure, the child notices immediately and comes under pressure. This is not healthy for the child, not healthy for the parents and also not healthy for the parent-child relationship.

What exactly do you mean by that?

In my opinion, the relationship between parents and children comes first. Only then comes homeschooling. If learning together jeopardises this relationship, it's better to skip tasks that are too difficult. Or consider whether you can organise support: Relatives, neighbours, other parents, perhaps even your child's classmates who are particularly good at a subject and could explain it to your child.

Speaking of classmates: how important do you think it is for children to interact with each other?

Very, very important. If it's not possible in person, perhaps because there's a contact ban at the moment, Skype, Zoom or Teams are great options. The main thing is that children have social contact with their friends! After the first lockdown in March, so many children told me that they felt lonely and sad because they could no longer see their classmates, meet up with them or play with them. If there is at least the opportunity to socialise via the internet, that's great!

How crucial is it that teachers also remain present during homeschooling, for example through class chats via streaming?

Also very, very important. Learning doesn't work without teachers. Teachers should definitely keep in touch with their students, however they can. We are all social beings. Human-to-human contact is essential for all of us. An adult woman who I support in her learning told me that she only receives explanatory videos from her university. When she watches these films, she quickly gets lost. She just needs the personal exchange with a teacher. That's probably how most people feel. We all - and especially our children - need someone to go through tasks with us, explain details and work out connections.

How much of a role can the computer actually play in homeschooling?

Of course, you can learn to do research on the computer. You can watch explanatory videos. But that shouldn't be the only thing you do. The computer can play a certain role, but not the main role. Contact with other people, teachers, classmates and parents is important when learning.

Finally, the question of all questions: When is enough enough? How much learning do they think they can do each day?

Every child learns differently. There are no universal standards. You can only orientate yourself individually to your child: What is feasible for your child? The less important question is: How big is the mountain of homework that needs to be completed? Then you only work through half of this mountain. Some children will manage even less. Give your child the feeling that they are not alone in their work. They should always know that their parents are there to support them as much as they can. This makes homeschooling bearable for everyone. However, I don't really know if it will ever be fun. Of all the students I look after, only one didn't want to go back to school after the first lockdown. Our school system certainly needs a lot of improvement in many areas, but children still need school, their classmates and their teachers - simply because people need other people.

Read more from Sabine Omarow here: www.sabine-omarow.de

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Daniel Ramm

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ottdansen@gmail.com

I've been a journalist for 20 years and have been editor of a knowledge magazine, head of copy at a news magazine and editor-in-chief of a youth magazine, among other things. For me, topics and texts can't be varied and colorful enough. Preferably something different, new and exciting every day. But the people around me - the people who share my table, bed and bathroom - would like to stay the same for the rest of my life.

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