Always in a good mood? Not with me. Here's a plea for dark days and bad moods

The classic women's magazine follows a simple model: an emancipated editorial calls for you to break free from social norms and be yourself. The pages that follow are filled with advice on fashion trends, make-up and dieting, and on the last page you'll find cake recipes. A double standard that has long since moved from the pages of magazines to the feed of social networks and from bodies to the psyche.

Look at Instagram. Here's what's worth: be yourself, but in a good mood, thank you. Problems? We don't. The result is a psychotic medley in which, in between horrific news from around the world, influencers meditating on an island in the South Seas smile at you or cat videos immerse you in entertaining hedonism.

For if you put your phone aside, you ask yourself: what's wrong with me, if I'm not a hedonist in this world? Not always catching the next plane in a good mood and climbing a Tibetan mountain to revel in the meaning of life?

Toxic positivity and Vienna's joie de vivre

Constrained positivity makes you unhappy. In Vienna, where I'm from, we know this and - far-fetched thesis - it may be the reason why among the most unfriendly people in the world in the most liveable city.

Because sometimes it feels good to be in a bad mood. A loving plea for grey days that will free you from the obsession with being in a good mood.

We can't really be in a good mood.

We can't really explain this Viennese feeling. Even when you grew up there, like me. Sure, there's the verb "sudern", commonly translated as "to whine". But there's much more to it than that. Anyone who "suderns" feels a deep melancholy and indulges in it with pleasure for several days: a sweet suffering that doesn't need to be resolved.

One example may perhaps help: when, in 2018, Vienna was voted the world's most liveable city for the ninth time by the Mercer consultancy, a disgruntled reader of the daily Der Standard left the following comment under the corresponding online article: "I won't let any study embellish my Vienna."

Unhappy because of happiness

Well, you could now rightly argue that this attitude doesn't solve problems or lead to great happiness, especially as the influence of positive thoughts on perceived happiness has been demonstrated in numerous studies.

But if happiness and contentment become compulsory exercises, exactly the opposite happens.

Scientists have been warning against "toxic positivity" for years. Non-negotiable happiness, which now allows only a small range of emotions, does not mean the salvation of the soul, but a psychic burden.

Scientists have been warning for years against "toxic positivity".

For example, one study analysed the link between acceptance of one's own emotions and mental health. The result: if we constantly ignore negative feelings, we end up feeling even worse.

Another study looked at toxic positivity in endometriosis forums on Facebook. Here too, it was found that the dominant ideology of "positive thinking" made the forum less inclusive and users less engaged in the discussion.

The reason why social networks are full of just such toxic positivity is quickly explained. Everyone's chasing happiness, so it's tempting to indulge in a cure of sheer bliss, even if behind the camera it's often quite different. It's all rewarded with a 'like', a little happiness bomb that, according to the International Psychology Clinic, allows us to observe the same brain activity as after winning the lottery.

A plea for a bad day: why it's good not to always be in a good mood

A person who doesn't need to be happy can be anything they want to be. And to prove it, here are some beneficial arguments for bad days and bad moods, straight from the international heart of bad moods, i.e. Vienna.

1. On bad days, you can give up

There are days (and weeks) when everything goes wrong. Give in to obliquity, because on those days you can't force happiness. Destructiveness has a beauty of its own and once all is lost, you can confidently throw in the towel. Giving up represents a healthy selfishness, which is why you shouldn't look for solutions, but let the rain come - dark days with no hope of improvement soon are the most radical resistance to the benevolent performance society.

2. If you're in a bad mood, we'll leave you alone

If you're in a bad mood, you're not good company. And even if you don't want to scare other people away for life: for a bit of calm in a stressful daily routine, well-placed gloom is useful. And here's how it works: first of all, you have to really feel the bad mood. The rest almost follows on its own: the corners of your mouth droop, your gaze stubbornly fixes on the floor and an exasperated groan escapes here and there. If the mood takes you, you can still make a moody Insta post to attack toxic positivity at its very core. It's definitely not advice for every day, but it's very salutary from time to time.

3. You can impose your moods on the world

No irony intended: the world is full of emotions, just like you. Confidence, anger, disgust, joy, contempt, sadness - you don't owe it to anyone to feel and experience only what feels good. Viennese cafés are a wonderful example of this: the wide range of rare coffee specialities are served with a certain impertinence. I can also confirm this from my own career as a waitress: working happily, motivated and in a good mood is not part of the rules here. Despite this, Viennese cafés are among the most popular in Europe and are still very busy. It just goes to show: you're still lovable even when you're unpleasant, and the world sometimes puts up with a dose of your bad mood.

4. A bad mood keeps you going

No doubt about it: a good mood is a great thing. That said, once a problem has got to you, it's healthier not to fight it emotionally and pretend to be in a good mood. And if your bad mood doesn't go away straight away, it may even offer you opportunities for development. This was shown in a study published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology: people in a bad mood are better at analytical thinking, are more productive and more convincing. It seems that constant good humour doesn't make us look beyond the rose-coloured glasses.

5. A bad mood promotes serenity

And my final argument against good-humour madness: being in a bad mood from time to time makes you more serene. Because embracing negative emotions - and maybe even diving into them and whining Viennese-style - has a positive long-term effect on health. This isn't just my opinion, but it's confirmed by researchers at the University of California: according to the research team, the stress generated by repressing negative feelings can make you ill. If, on the other hand, you accept the bad mood, if you learn to love it, not only do you break the obsession with positivity, but your outlook on the world also becomes much more relaxed.